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Hilarious Internet Quotes





Funny quotes that don't quite fit NTZ's quotebox! bigsmile

The Internet is a series of tubes that dispenses lols. Produced alongside the many conversations, exchanges of information, and cat videos that daily race through the Web, are various witticisms that people generate as a matter of course.

Unfortunately, I cannot quite remember where I first saw these quotes, but please refer to the image above.

Please share the funniest things you've ever heard people say on the Net in the comments box below. Win fabulous prizes*!


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It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.
It is by the beans of Java my thoughts acquire speed,
My teeth acquire stain, my hands acquire shaking,
The shaking becomes a warning.
It is by caffeine alone I set my mind in motion.

- anon


This is so ridiculously horrible that it whips right around and becomes awesome again.
- anon


'Men, we fight not just for our country but for our sacred role to defeat the Roman Empire in space. If we do not win today, there may be other deranged academics who try to recreate the Aztecs, the Mongols or, God help us, the Carolingian Empire. [shouting] Do you want to make your children face the Carolingian Empire in Space?"
"Sir! No sir!"

- anon

"Hilarious" is the failure mode for horror; "nonsense" is the failure mode for conspiracy; "stereo instructions" is the failure mode for SF.
-anon


You'd better not be talking shit about mah Texas. Yeah keep that up, see where it gets you. I'm crazy. I'm so crazy I'm going to come to your house and bake you a cake. And you will eat it, because I will have spent much effort in making it delicious. You will eat it and enjoy it, because if there's one thing I'm good at, it's baking. I will tenderly decorate every inch of the delicious cake with skim-milk based creamers and fill the inside with delicious diced fruit, fresh from my private collection. Right now, as you are reading this, I am loading a can of whipped cream into my book bag, along with a lethal dose of sugar. You'd better think twice next time you talk about my home state, buddy, because here comes the sugar apocalypse.

- mithie


I AM. Through license of he who is called I AM, I have come. Though I shall not reveal myself as those who came before did, none shall escape my presence. Where I pass, none may act. All movement will cease when I arrive, and I am the herald to the end of all. I am the Patience of God. Angel of Server Load. I am Lagiel, and I am coming.
- anon


It wasn't even 2edgy4me, it graduated to 3edgy5me.
- anon


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